Frequently asked questions

A person’s body may be safely kept at home in cool conditions for a couple of days – more in colder conditions. You may want reassurance or advice from a funeral director, but you can close the person’s eyes, put a small towel rolled under the chin, or a scarf around the chin and head for a few hours to keep the mouth closed (teeth in!) Turn off radiators, keep the room shaded (curtains closed) and as cool as possible.  You can use a fan if you wish. About five frozen ice blocks (the type used for a picnic), each wrapped in a tea towel, will help cool the body quicker and keep it cool, so the person can stay at home for longer. Rotate the blocks every few hours as needed. Lavender oil in a burner helps too. The Natural Death Centre has great advice on how to care for a body at home.

The body will be kept in a cold store refrigerated to 2–6 degrees to help preserve the body. This is where it will remain until the funeral. You can generally to arrange to visit the person by arrangement with the funeral director.

You will need to collect the ‘Medical Certificate of Cause of Death’ which the GP has signed from the doctors’ surgery or hospital bereavement office.

When you have it (or know that you will have it), call the registrars’ office in the area where the death occurred and make an appointment to register the death. Make sure you take this Medical Certificate with you.

If you are unable to visit the registrar in the area where the death occurred, ask for a registration ‘By Declaration’. This relies on the Royal Mail or courier so allow extra time for this to take place.

The Registrar will issue Death Certificates, which cost £11 each. You might need 3-5 copies to send to the bank, solicitors etc., depending on the complexity of the estate.

Here is a handy document to refer to when registering a death: Registration information

Deaths in England, Wales and Northern Ireland should be registered within five days. If this is not possible, for example you were out of the country when your loved one died, you must at least have made the appointment and informed the Registrar.

Deaths are referred to the coroner by the GP or emergency services if the death is sudden, or the cause of death cannot be readily established by the GP. In 2018 this figure was a startling 41%, with 39% resulting in a post mortem – down slightly from 2017.

This can simply be because the person has not been seen by the doctor within the last 14 days, or because the person may have died from something other than that which the doctor was treating. Occasionally the family can prevail on the doctor not to refer to the coroner, or the doctor can speak to the coroner to try and avoid a post mortem if the cause of death is not really in question. If in doubt, the coroner will always proceed with a post mortem.

What is a post mortem?

A post mortem is an intensive examination of the person’s body, and is needed in order to establish the cause of death, when the doctor cannot establish this. If after making all necessary enquiries, and the cause of death is established as Natural Causes, there is no post mortem. In this case, and if the person is to be buried, the family need to register the death in the normal way. In the case of cremation, the coroner will inform the Registrar, which then allows the funeral to proceed; however, in this case, the family will need to visit the registrar to get Death Certificates.

What is an inquest?

An inquest is called if circumstances surrounding the death need further investigation – perhaps following concern over nursing or medical care, use of alcohol or drugs while in care, sudden unexplained death, suspected foul play, or possibly to ‘learn the lessons’ for future such cases.

If an inquest is called, it is immediately adjourned to allow for the facts to be gathered, and need not delay the funeral.

It is best to allow seven to ten days for a cremation; five days does not allow for unforeseen delays, but can be done. In particular circumstances – as required by certain religious faiths, burial can take place within 24 hours of death.

You should always visit if you feel that you want to. If in two minds – visit! If the funeral director is very strongly against if for hygienic/stability reasons, press for detail. Even in the case of a disfiguring accident, you can perceive the outline of their body under a sheet, and this can help. Visiting your person in their coffin is also an option that suits some people who find themselves undecided.

Obviously it depends on the length of time following death; but it is often said that the person ‘looks very peaceful’. We will have washed and dressed the person in clothes you will have provided. Indeed, if wished, this is something you can yourself be involved in.

Often this visit is recalled as an important part of the process of finding some peace in accepting that a person has actually died, is here in physical form, but is no longer ‘here’.

Yes, of course. We will provide warm water, towels, essential oils, and a quiet space. We can help, advise or let the family/friends present do it on their own.

Yes. However, due to cremation regulations, no metal, glass, plastic, or PVC items. For these reasons we recommend leaving off most shoes.

Routinely, no, we do not. We will only embalm someone for a very good reason, and will always let you know the reason, and ask your permission.

Embalming is a temporary preservation technique that replaces the natural bodily fluids with a 16% formaldehyde chemical preservative solution through the vascular system.

The process is invasive but in some cases can be very useful, for example if a body is to be kept refrigerated for more than three or four weeks, or if the coffin is to remain open during the service. In the case of repatriation it is a legal requirement.

Once the coffin has left the funeral director the deceased cannot be removed from it. And, yes, the handles stay on too – contrary to a popular myth.

Are they ‘my’ ashes? Crematoria know this is a widespread concern, so the staff and crematorium authorities take great care to ensure that every individual cremation is kept completely separate.

You can always arrange to visit a local crematorium to see exactly what they do ‘behind the scenes’.

Ashes remain the strangest part of a cremation – this person’s body transformed into a box of grey dust and grit, and this is what we are given when the final bill is paid.

Any crematorium needs a minimum of four hours to complete the process before the ashes can be collected; they will require advance notice if you want the ashes back the same day. Generally, the funeral director collects the ‘urn’ and most crematoria now supply them in a nice-looking cardboard box. You can of course collect the ashes yourself, by arrangement.

Cremated remains can be scattered in the Garden of Remembrance, buried loose or in an urn or casket in a grave at the crematorium, or in a churchyard or cemetery. Legally, ashes can only be freely scattered elsewhere with the landowner’s permission.

Though the ashes can be handled, they are heavily alkaline and can damage plants and soil ecosystems if applied in concentration. They contain dry calcium phosphates with some minor minerals, such as salts of sodium and potassium; a relatively small amount of carbon may remain as carbonate.

If concentrated amounts are placed on the land, they can cause a ‘burning’, a similar effect of putting on too much fertiliser. They need spreading out or digging in. Once spread out they will take on some of the properties of a limestone soil.

Large amounts in sensitive ecosystems may alter the natural ecology – so don’t choose the mountain top –  or indeed any protected conservation area. Permission to scatter ashes needs to be sought from any landowner beforehand.

Ashes Containers: ashes generally come from the crematorium in a perfectly nice coloured cardboard box. What you decide to transfer them into instead of this depends what you are planning to do with the ashes – i.e scatter, versus keeping them on the mantelpiece. There is a vast array of urns in all conceivable materials to choose from.

Bury them loose, or in the box or a casket. If you scatter them, check the wind direction first! N.B. you need the landowner’s permission to scatter ashes; the Coastguard is the landlord of the sea and its shorelines.

What else can you do? Use them as a starter block for a coral reef; scatter them in space; put them into a firework/fireworks. Get them made into a glass ornament, a ‘diamond’, jewellery, a bird bath, a vinyl record – or even an an egg timer. Mix them with tattoo ink, paint with them mixed into pigment or shoot them from a canon mixed with ribbons and confetti.

Burying them in your garden needs careful attention (as mentioned in the earlier FAQ). Dilution of the total using organic matter, plenty of water and avoiding young plants and trees is needed. Placing them inside a biodegradable urn can be helpful to support the compostibility for your garden.

Permission will be needed from the minister in charge of the church that you are hoping to use if it is not your local church – and there would need to be a good reason, such as family connections.

While many funerals in the UK still follow traditional religious practices in a local church, increasing numbers of families prefer a less formal – possibly civil – ceremony, usually in the crematorium chapel. But there are village halls, scout huts, hotels, country houses, Masons’ Halls and Quaker Friends’ meeting rooms that can be hired for a funeral service.

We have held funeral services entirely at the graveside, in the garden, the house, in the woods, the barn, the pub, or the garage of the house. Natural Burial Grounds usually have a shelter or indoor space.

Find out more about funeral options

Minister: in a church, the minister leads the service. It is important to arrange a special meeting with the minister to plan the service and make sure they understand your family, and how you want it to go. Anyone else can speak, offer a reading, a poem, sing or play a musical tribute.

Celebrant: a secular or civil ceremony can be led by a member of the family or an independent ‘celebrant’ – whether strictly ‘Humanist’ or as your spokesperson. They will always want to come to the house to meet you to understand more about your family and the person who has died, and will spend a considerable time creating a unique service that reflects what you have told them. They can write and deliver a eulogy (a spoken portrait of the person who has died), based on their life and the stories you have told them. They can call to speak with other friends and family members who were not at the initial meeting to get input from a wider circle.

There are plenty of celebrants now practising; some are very good. Unless you know one personally, we can advise.

A service in Gloucester Crematorium allows 20 minutes in the chapel. In addition, they estimate five minutes to enter and get everyone seated, and five minutes for all to leave the chapel. If you expect lots of people, or you feel more time is needed, a ‘double’ slot may be booked, which will give 50 minutes in the chapel. Both Cheltenham and Westerleigh allow 35 minutes service time as part of a 45-minute slot.

Church services are usually no more than 35 -40 minutes – though in exceptional cases they can go for an hour. As above, Ministers are required to include the liturgy of their particular faith in addition to anything else you might want.

Hired funeral men in black? Or family members, grandchildren, colleagues, mates; women as well as men, of course. N.B. It is generally considered an honour to be asked to carry the coffin as a last act of service to the person who has died.

This decision as to who carries the coffin depends on the tone of the funeral – and the availability of willing and able-bodied family members and friends. If the latter, we would give a clear briefing beforehand to ensure that the ‘bearers’ are well prepared, and we would be on hand to help all the way.

You can pay by bank transfer, cheque, or cash by arrangement.

The bank will freeze a person’s account after their death. Any costs associated with the funeral can be paid from the deceased’s current or savings account on submission of an invoice by the executor/next of kin. This can include expenses that your family have incurred such as travel, accommodation, additional flowers, catering etc. If you tell us what these are we will add them to the final invoice and reimburse you as soon as the bank have settled with us.

If you are having trouble paying for a funeral, it is very important to discuss this with us in advance: we will try and work out some payment plan with you.

In addition: you may be able to get a Funeral Expenses Payment from the Government:

You (or your partner) must be getting one or more of the following:

• Income Support
• Income-based Jobseeker’s Allowance
• Income-related Employment and Support Allowance
• Pension Credit
• Housing Benefit
• the disability or severe disability element of Working Tax Credit
• Child Tax Credit
• Universal Credit

You might also be eligible if you’re getting a Support for Mortgage Interest loan.

You can still claim a Funeral Expenses Payment if you’ve applied for these benefits and you’re waiting to hear about your claim.

To be eligible for a Funeral Expenses Payment, you must be

• the partner of the person who has died, when they died
• a close relative or close friend of the person who has died
• the parent of a baby stillborn after 24 weeks of pregnancy
• the parent or person responsible for a child who has died and who was under 16 (or under 20 and in approved education or training)

You might not get a Funeral Expenses Payment if another close relative of the person who has died (such as a sibling or parent) is in work.

A Funeral Expenses Payment can help to pay for some of the costs of the following:

• burial fees for a particular plot
• cremation fees, including the cost of the doctor’s certificate
• travel to arrange or go to the funeral
• the cost of moving the body within the UK, if it’s being moved more than 50 miles
• death certificates or other documents

You can also get up to £700 for any other funeral expenses, such as funeral director’s fees, flowers or the coffin.

The payment will not usually cover all of the costs of the funeral.

How much you get depends on your circumstances. This includes any other money that’s available to cover the costs, for example from an insurance policy or the person’s estate.

Check the claim form notes for full details of what is covered by the Funeral Expenses Payment.

If the deceased had a pre-paid funeral plan, you can only get up to £120 to help pay for items not covered by their plan.

More detail here can be found here: https://www.gov.uk/funeral-payments

A direct cremation is a funeral where the person who died is collected and cremated with no family or officiant present. It is sometimes known as an ‘Unattended funeral’. It is cheaper than a ‘traditional’ funeral.

Sometimes, families have a memorial gathering of some kind at a future date.

Funeral costs have increased a lot over recent years. 

If you have a life expectancy of more than two or three years, if you have the savings, and if you feel you can tackle the job (or get someone else to), it makes sense to plan and pay for your funeral in advance. You can of course put money aside in an investment or savings account but it may not keep pace with the rise in funeral costs.

For more information, go to the Pre-Paid Funerals page on our website

We are also very happy to come and talk with you in advance of the need for a funeral, if you do not want to pay in advance but just wish to have your funeral preferences discussed and written down.