Doula ‘An End of Life Companion’. Could this make a difference?
A new, unusual, brave and professional service in Stroud provided by a qualified End-of-Life-Companion: someone who will calmly understand the difficulties, concerns – and possibly the unforseen joys – of an approaching death.
You might be a long term carer for a spouse or an elderly relative, or you might have been recently presented with a terminal diagnosis yourself.
Where can you turn ? Who is there to really listen to you? Where can you be really ‘heard’ ? What are the first steps to take?
Enquiries: either via James Showers (Family Tree Funeral Director)
or directly with Corinna Mainberger on 01323 401146.
Costs: Corinna Mainberger offers a flexible rate, £15 -£40 per hour, so this service can be made available to a wide range of people.
Please assess for yourself how much you would like to pay. Your payment might enable another person on a low income make use of this service.
A short free ‘taster session’ can be easily arranged.
Doula: an End of Life Companion.
The medical profession provides support for dying people, and calls it ‘palliative care’. The term ‘end of life companion’ is used for those whose practice is grounded in emotional care and practical support rather than medical support.
A dying person will often go through a blizzard of – mostly fearful – feelings ……. lonely, lost, scared, stuck, regretful, angry, resolved, resistant, submissive.
An end of life companion will listen deeply, and can fill an emotional and spiritual gap by being calmly alongside them, and listening at this challenging time.
This is especially valuable as – even if we have close family or friends to support us at the end of life- these are difficult emotions to express, and very difficult for others to hear.
An end of life companion can help you prepare for death: perhaps literally hold your hand, and help you come to terms with acceptance and release. Talking and planning together, the end of life companion brings care, compassion and companionship. Some bring nursing or counselling skills experience to their training. They will work alongside doctors and nurses, family, as well as funeral directors – always with the focus on the person who is dying, always with an eye on family dynamics to help smooth the path.
What is offered will depend on the needs and preferences of the person using the service. This might include help with writing letters and messages; creating rituals to help in ‘letting go’; performing blessings; carrying out a ceremony for a partner or close friend.
The companion might offer naming ceremonies, baptisms or blessings for a baby that has died. They can help resolve issues between the dying person and other family members, create a safe space for families to make-up, to listen to regrets and bear witness to a life that is still vital but passing.
All these things can help release a person to death.
At the very end, a companion can help perform last rites – alone or with the family and friends …preparing the room with candles, music, essential oils. They can hold vigil, say prayers or read passages, offer final blessings. They can be there encouraging through the very point of death, hold vigil while the room goes quiet, lay out the body, wash and cleanse it in accordance with beliefs, and encourage and assist the family and friends to carry out other helpful rituals.
They may later support members of the family coping with their bereavement and their loss.
End of Life Companion, Questions and Answers
What is an End-of-Life Companion?
An End-of-Life Companion is a professionally trained, informed companion, who will be alongside the dying person, and their supporting friends and family before, during and after the death.
What does an End-of-Life Companion have to offer?
First of all compassion and a kindly understanding presence!
Second a sensitive understanding of the various needs, difficulties and questions arising when approaching death; also practical help, such as what other services might be available.
Last – not least – literally being with the dying at their bed site, providing a safe, comforting and sacred environment.
What does an End-of-Life Companion not do?
They do not provide medical care or care assistance as such, like a palliative or district nurse or a carer would do. But they would relate and work closely with all professionals involved.
Funeral wishes might be spoken about, but the actual funeral arrangements would be handled by the funeral director.
What qualifications does an End-of-Life Companion have?
They come from all directions of life, but most of them come with a wealth of experience in either medical or social care.
End-of-Life Companions or also called ‘End-of-Life Doulas’- Doula in old Greek meaning a female helper, a support person; Doula’s have completed a 21 day diploma course and are fully accredited to the highest standards of the awarding body Edexcel.
All of them are CRB/ DBS checked and are insured.
Regular Continuous professional development and supervision is required.
Does this service extend after the death of a loved done?
The relationships which have been formed over months, sometimes years with the spouse or family might well extend the time after the funeral if desired.
Difficult emotions will often arise after the busy phase of going through a funeral.
An End-of-Life Companion will provide deep listening and an open heart to fully ‘hear’ the person; this is known to soothe and comfort at a time of extreme tenderness.
How much does it cost?
A recommended hourly rate would be £15 – £25.
Every circumstance is different and individual financial arrangements can be made.
You will be given a written agreement outlining what has been discussed.
What is the first step?
Feel free to make contact with Corinna Mainberger on 01323 401146 to address any questions you might have. Or James Showers at Family Tree.
If you are happy to take things further, an initial meeting will be arranged with Corinna.
Death Cafe
At Death Cafe’s people drink tea, eat cake and discuss death. Their aim is to increase awareness of death to help people make the most of their (finite) lives. There are currently two groups running in Stroud.
Contact Pammy Mitchell at pammitchell@googlemail.com
See more at: http://deathcafe.com/#sthash.giJWW7Mg.dpuf
